Can We Talk About That? Partnership Blog

The abuse that Marissa Presley endured by a much older boyfriend at the age of 14 resulted in truancy, difficulty focusing at school, and extensive health and mental health consequences. When she confided to a well-meaning school counselor, thedisastrous advice she received was, “Hang in there.” Now Marissa manages dating abuse prevention programs for Laura’s House in Orange County. Sadly, she has heard stories similar to her own from far too many teens who have been abused in their dating relationships.

Research shows that dating abuse compromises student safety and academic achievement and that school policies are key to preventing abuse on campus.

That is why over 25 states have adopted laws to address dating abuse in schools. Read why California should do the same:

Liz Gomez works as the Site Coordinator for Woodcraft Rangers at South East High School in South Gate, California. Since South East High student Cindi Santana was murdered in September 2011, she has been supporting the leadership of youth who are working to ensure that all students, “Live Violence Free.”

The nature of the relationships between students are distinct in bullying and dating abuse (peers versus dating partners). Therefore, the dynamics are distinct in significant ways.

“Teen dating violence [is] far too prevalent and prevents far too many students from being able to focus on their education.”
– Kevin Jennings, the Assistant Deputy Secretary, US Department of Education

Dating abuse, also known as teen dating violence, is the use of physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, or technological conduct by a person to harm, threaten, intimidate, or control a dating partner, regardless of whether that relationship is continuing or has concluded, or the number of interactions between the individuals involved.

Because dating abuse occurs in a relationship characterized by romantic or intimate feelings, there are dynamics that are distinct from other forms of violence.

These distinctive aspects of dating abuse make it one of the most confusing and overlooked forms of violence.

While schools have a duty to comply with civil and criminal orders of protection, some school administrators may wonder on a practical level how school staff can enforce protection orders.

Law enforcement has the legal responsibility to enforce restraining orders, including on school campuses.

Schools have the legal responsibility to keep students safe while they are at school. It’s crucial for schools to enforce court-ordered protective orders for the safety of all students and staff who could be harmed.

Many resources exist to support school districts in crafting and enacting policies and procedures to address dating abuse and support healthy teen relationships.

Fact sheets

Teen Dating Violence – A Fact Sheet for Schools (US Department of Education Office of Safe and Healthy Students)